How to mess with the mind of a suburban housewife

 

How to mess with the mind of a suburban housewife:

Remodel her go-to grocery store in the middle of the week.

Tonight we were running low on a certain family member's favorite toilet paper, so I went to our local Kroger to discover that they were in the process of flipping the entire shelving system and rearranging the rows from horizontal to vertical. They have been remodeling for some time, taking small sections and refinishing the floor. So, when I ran in tonight, I fully expected to be able to function as I have for several weeks. I was wrong.

It was apocalyptic to wander through aisle after aisle searching for things that were just there last week, but were now missing. I almost expected a few zombies to pop out from behind the frozen foods as people maneuvered around tight corners and read handprinted signs on poster board ignoring the now useless professional signs hanging overhead.

People had the weirdest expressions on their faces as they concentrated to figure out the problem of securing the family groceries. The kind of look that moves complete strangers to speak to one another and help one another solve the mysteries of the universe such as "Where did they put the Sunchips that are 2 for $5?"

I discovered that there is a special type of community bonding when everyone is confused and perplexed together. Perhaps a little bit like when there is a natural disaster and everyone has to come out of their houses and actually converse with their neighbors. I helped a woman with a dazed look on her face locate the little baggies of chips...which were no longer on the chips aisle but next to the peanut butter half the store over. The only reason I could help her was that I had passed down that aisle three times in search of sandwich baggies pondering "this must be the let's make a lunch aisle." A man stopped to tell me that one of my economy rolls of T.P had fallen out from underneath my buggy. Another man laughed at me when I slid around the corner in my slick soled shoes on the newly finished floor, but I didn't take offense. I must have looked pretty funny with my near bust-my-booty moves.

 

I rocked on the sale of Tide Sport HE but missed out on the T.P. I had actually come for. Better couponing luck next time. Some other frugalista got there ahead of me!

I found this sign over the Easter display quite humorous considering all the searching that was going on below: