Moonwalker meets Legoman

Sometimes being a part of a family is hard. Our eight year old son received a 1758 piece Star Wars lego kit for Christmas that is designed for ages fourteen and up. Although we had some reservations that the kit would cause great frustration for him, we were pleasantly surprised when he sat for hours for two days working on the creation. Working on the creation on the floor, I should say. Big mistake.
On day two of the construction phase, a tiny dancer decided to stop twirling long enough to break into a backwards moving moonwalk. Upon meeting the Lego creation, she stepped not once, but twice upon it, then tumbled backwards and sat fully on it. The look of horror on my son's face was evident. Our daughter cried and apologized, and our son was able to mutter, "I forgive you." But when the shock wore off and the reality of the challenge of piecing it back together with no instruction manual set in, only tears could come. He went off to his room. When my husband suggested that he might need some Mama love, I tried to go up and talk with him. (What was he thinking? Boys are not interested in talking!) I gave him a hug and tried not to be offended when he asked if I would please leave. I prayed for God to console him since I could not, and he eventually came down and returned to the task of picking up the broken pieces.

Sometimes being in a family, living in such close proximity to other temperaments can be a challenge. I have been keeping a prayer log for each family member this year at the advice of a mentor mom at our church. She recommended recording the journey of family life through the lens of prayer. Then, at some appropriate time, say high school graduation, the child would have the gift of knowing how God had interacted in their lives the whole way through. I don't know if I will make it the whole way through, but yesterday's prayer for our family was taken from Colossians 3:15. Let the PEACE of Christ rule in you, and be thankful.

May we be thankful for one another, even when one of us moonwalks into our Legos.

Oh hush the noise, ye men of strife and hear the angels sing

Sometimes at Christmas, I love to read the words of carols, to help their meaning sink deep within my busy heart. Sometimes I'll be listening...in the car to the radio, on Pandora on the itouch, buying groceries, at the gym...and one line will stand out from all others.

This season it has been a call to be quiet, and hear the angels sing.

“It Came Upon the Midnight Clear”
By Edmund H. Sears, 1849

It came upon the midnight clear,
That glorious song of old,
From angels bending near the earth,
To touch their harps of gold;
“Peace on the earth, good will to men,
From Heaven’s all gracious King.”
The world in solemn stillness lay,
To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come
With peaceful wings unfurled,
And still their heavenly music floats
O’er all the weary world;
Above its sad and lowly plains,
They bend on hovering wing,
And ever over its Babel sounds
The blessèd angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife
The world has suffered long;
Beneath the angel strain have rolled
Two thousand years of wrong;
And man, at war with man, hears not
The love-song which they bring;

O hush the noise, ye men of strife

And hear the angels sing.

And ye, beneath life’s crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing.
O rest beside the weary road,
And hear the angels sing!

For lo! the days are hastening on,
By prophet-bards foretold,
When with the ever circling years
Comes round the age of gold;
When peace shall over all the earth
Its ancient splendors fling,
And the whole world send back the song
Which now the angels sing.

Happy Birthday Jesus Rake Party

Some friends and I got together with our kids this year and had a Happy Birthday Jesus party with several service project ideas.


In the past we had made cookies and passed them out as we sang Christmas carols to neighbors. This year, we had the kids make Valentine's cards to thank people for serving in our military, then gathered our large company of children to rake leaves for a family who had lost their father this year.


I was very surprised at how this impacted my son. He had a great time in the flock of other kids. Helping some, playing some. I more expected the response of several of my other children who preferred taking pictures to actually getting their hands dirty and helping.


I pray that these small attempts at service will make an impression on their hearts. May they grow up to be servant leaders.

The Grace of God and Petit Fours

My neighbor sweetly sent over a box of Christmas-decorated petit-fours as a present to our children on a day when no one deserved any treats what-so-ever.


As I watched my children carry the box excitedly into the house, I listened as God formulated an impromptu devotional idea.


We put the box up high on the shelf while I gathered a dry-erase board and markers, a nativity set, plates, candle and lighter, both a Christmas and Easter story book, and a Christmas blanket. I spread the blanket and plates out around the Christmas tree and called everyone in.


I wrote each of our names on the board with a smiley face and explained how much God loved us as has great things planned for us. Then I showed everyone the box of petit- fours.


Then I explained that because we choose to sin we do not deserve any treats. We deserve discipline.
And as I erased each smiley face I listed all the behaviors we had seen that day: lying, hitting, hair-pulling, screaming, disrespectful attitude, loss of temper (mine) to name a few. I replaced each smiley face with a sad face and said how much God wants us to honor Him and do the right thing, and how it hurts Him when we treat each other poorly.


Then I took out the baby Jesus from the nativity set, placed it down from the sky into the manger and explained how God had made a way for us to be forgiven of our sins. I took out the Christmas and Easter story and thumbed through the pictures and gave an overview of the entire Christmas story...the one that includes why Jesus came to earth...to give us hope, to life a perfect life, and offer himself as a sacrifice for our sins, making a way for us to be made right with God forever. I erased the sad faces with a red Christmas dish-towel and redrew the smiles.


I then passed out the petit-fours with small birthday candles, lit them, and lead our family in a prayer asking forgiveness. The kids blew out the candles and ate happily in quiet reflection.


It was a holy moment...until about 5 minutes later when someone started fighting over who ate the last candy cane!


Jesus, thank you for coming to us at Christmas. How we need you Emmanuel. Without you, we are truly LOST.

F.O.M.O

F.O.M.O

Fear of Missing Out

I nearly laughed out loud as I ran across this Scripture from the Message today.

Don't be afraid of missing out.

You're my dearest friends!
The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.
Luke 12:32 MSG

Father,
Please be our pace-setter today.

I have lain face-down on the floor, nose in the carpet fibers, crawling towards your Presence for renewed strength, energy, and perspective...and it's only 8:54 am.

Help me to love you and other people well today, and serve with your strength.

Your girl,
Taryn

Together

A daily reminder, on our bedroom wall.


As we drove last night in the dark to the Charlotte airport, after peeling off ball-gown attire just minutes before, I asked the Lord for a word to define this next season of hosting Natalija and Vilnis. The word that came was "TOGETHER".


I am to pray for a spirit of unity. (Romans 15:5) Peace and unity within our home between all siblings, biological and hosted.


I am to rest in the knowledge that God is always with me, and with us, helping us to parent well.


And I am to give thanks for all those who are loving Natalija and Vilnis with me.


The Cabiness Family, who met us at the church between performances of the Singing Christmas Tree, to take Mary Jayne and Brennan on ahead of us, since we couldn't be on the stage waltzing and meeting the flight in Charlotte when it arrived.


The Moores, who took one of the Cabiness children home, so that he wouldn't have to make a late night trip on a school night.


The Yangs, who took another Cabiness child home who was also dancing in the performance with us.


The Howlands, who purchased holiday pajamas as a fun gesture of Christ's love and the Christmas season.


The Horns, who quietly left a box of cocoa and a beautifully wrapped cake on our front steps for us to enjoy on our pajama day.


The Hardys, who texted to say, don't cook dinner, we're bringing pizza by for the family.


My Mom, who took Laurel home when she finished dancing, so that she would be cared for while the rest of the family was in Charlotte.


And it's only the first full day.

Thank you, God, for my "village", who journeys in faith alongside me and shares in the spirit of giving and generosity this Christmas. You are providing for our every need, and I trust you completely to guide us.

a gift for Jesus

Each year we place a simple brown box tied with raffia in our manger scene as a reminder for us to give Jesus a gift that He would really like in honor of his birth.


This year, our gift is kindness to one another.


Our children greatly love and greatly fight one another.
They are so excited about having Natalija and Vilnis back in our home for Christmas.


Our prayer is that we will treat one another in ways that bring a smile to the heart of God.


Good deeds are occasionally celebrated with a piece of straw to create a soft (?) bed for the Christ child.


As the mound grows bigger during the Advent season, may our hearts for one another and for you, God, grow as well.

All things directed by Him

The Year of Seven Stockings

 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!

Who can understand his decisions or explain what he does?


"Who has known the mind of the Lord,
       or who has been able to give him advice?" 
       — (Isaiah 40:13)
 
"Has anyone ever given anything to God,
      so that God has to pay him back?" 
      —(Job 41:11) 

  All things come from him. 

   All things are directed by him.
   All things are for his good. 

 To him be glory forever. Amen.

Romans 11:33-36

One of my children recently asked me, "Why didn't anyone else select Natalija and Vilnis to host them for Christmas?" Although I cannot really know, I believe that God's hand "saved" them in the selection process so that we would be permitted to host them again. I cannot fully understand your ways, God, but I wait quietly in expectation to see you move in their lives, and on their behalf over this Christmas. Thank you for loving these children so much more than I ever could. My love is weak, but yours is strong.

May they be filled with wonder and awe at how much YOU love them.

Pause

My five year old melted into tears..."but you said we could!"


I glanced at the clock...twenty minutes until 8:00.


Quick calculations told me that we could not brush teeth, wash hair, moisturize, find clean jammies, read a story AND have a mother-daughter makeover before kindergarten bedtime.


The practical thing would have been to say no. It's a school night. You are terribly grumpy when you don't get enough rest.


The responsible thing would have been to postpone makeover fun for another day, with some parental nugget of wisdom about using our lifeskill of flexibility when time won't allow us to do all the things we wish we could do.


The selfish thing would be to hold to my guns, since I really didn't want to have to wash an enormous amount of make-up off my face in the first place.


Yet, incredibly, the wailing drew my compassion, and I sat in the floor compliantly while my five year old transformed me into Cinderella (with some really bright cheeks).


Father, help me not to always push through to what is responsible and scheduled. Help me to PAUSE and make moments that are significant to my daughter, even when I'm not in the mood to play.


Help me to PAUSE throughout the day and respond to you...even if your plan seems to be different from what I have in mind.


Help me to have more YES moments. Really, what harm was done?


I love you, and thank you for helping me on this parenting journey.


T

Be still in the Presence

Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for Him to act.
Don't worry about ______________
or fret about _____________.


Psalm 37:7 NLT

I am thankful for a sense of peace. There are 12 days until Natalija and Vilnis come to live with us again. This time around I am so aware of how out of control I am over their well-being. Strangely enough, this has not caused more anxiety, but greater trust. I cannot know what the future will hold for us or for them. I cannot heal their hurts. I can ask God to help me love them for the month that I tuck them into bed and remind them to put their dirty clothes in the laundry chute. I can raise my eyes and heart in expectation to the one who loves them more than I ever could...and I can wait patiently for His best plan to unfold.

Advent- ears to hear

I love Christmas. Each year in October I start pulling out a large notebook of past ideas, recipes, decoration notes, shopping lists, addresses for cards and throw myself into the work of making the holiday season magical. If I am not careful, by Thanksgiving weekend, I have already peaked in terms of my energy and enthusiasm and am somewhat unenthused about finishing all of the tasks I have begun.


This feeling of being pooped out always brings me back to Jesus, who helps me remember who all this hoopla is for in the first place, and I settle into quiet moments with my Savior.


I love the tradition of Advent. I love lighting a candle at the table at mealtime and counting down the days until the awaited celebration. I love the season of finding a way to celebrate each day. I love sitting by the tree full of white lights and listening to the songs I have hand-selected on Pandora. I love having coffee in the morning while I read through Luke (24 chapters...roughly one for each day of the season...to focus on the life of Christ and not just the birth.) I love having cocoa or cider with my children sometime in the evening or afternoon when they desperately need some quietness too.


I have been asking Jesus for some new ideas on how to better devote myself to Him during this season of much joy and much activity.


Here are a few of the things I intend to try:


Listen and watch for opportunities.


This week I sat down with my girls and half-way watched two new holiday specials. I was not too impressed initially, since the content was completely secular. However, as I pulled clippings from holiday magazines and folded laundry alongside my t.v. watching kids, I heard messages that could honor Christ if properly noted.


In Hoops and YoYo, there is the theme of "giving up your dream so that another's dream could be realized." In Elf on the Shelf, is a song about how "Christmas is a great time for forgiveness". After we turned off the television, I took a few moments and asked my girls why they thought Christmas was a good time for forgiveness, and they were able to connect the babe in the manger with the offer of forgiveness given by God through His son. We talked about what sacrifice could mean in our lives.


I could have finished folding the laundry and missed the little opportunities hidden within a secular moment, but God is speaking all around us, even through cartoons, if we have ears to hear.


Do you hear what I hear?

Stop and Consider

Stop and consider God's wonders.


Job 37:14

O Lord, my God
When I in awesome wonder
Consider all
the worlds thy hands hath made.


I see the stars
I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout 
the universe displayed.


Then sings my soul,
My Saviour God to Thee


How Great Thou Art!

Faithful love

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary.


What we need is to love without getting tired.


-Mother Teresa

Again and again, the Lord keeps bringing me back to "Don't worry about doing something great, or being someone extraordinary. What I'm interested in is faithful love."


May I be acutely aware of the thousand small opportunities in front of me.


Yesterday I walked my children to their classroom. This was a  rare occurrance. They are always more than happy to jump out of the mini-van door in the carpool line and hit the pavement running ahead of me. But yesterday, I walked with them, trailing their dust. And on the way back down the hallway, I saw a small girl with breakfast crumbs encrusted around her mouth, sticky substances flowing from her nose, wailing at the top of her lungs. I saw a slightly larger boy fussing at her and leaving her behind as he went on to class. As I stopped to ask her what was wrong, I realized that she was lost, grumpy, and that her brother had no patience left for her tears. I asked her if she was in kindergarten, and she managed to nod her head. Turns out that she is classmate of my youngest daughter. We walked hand-in-hand to the kindergarten hall and I felt such a sense of God saying, "This is it. Notice the people who are in front of you." At least one hundred kids passed her by, and at that moment in time, no adults were to be found in that section of the hallway. It wasn't hard at all to stop, and that was the small assignment God had for me that brought great joy. I am sure that she went about her day and forgot all about our encounter, but God etched those moments in my memory. Stop. Notice. Care. Don't think about sanitizing your hands as you hold hers. Offer my faithful love.


May I not miss the small assignments that God has for me today.

Kisses from Katie

I was privileged to hear Katie speak at Catalyst a few weeks ago. Hers is an amazing story of what it is like to follow God one step at a time and change the world, one life at a time.

http://www.wltx.com/video/1211539242001/0/22-year-old-is-Mother-to-13-Orphans

I just finished reading her new book, Kisses from Katie.

She says:

I want to be challenged endlessly.
I want to be taught by those I teach, 
and I want to share God's love with people who otherwise might not know it. 
I want to work so hard that I end every day filthy and too tired to move. 
I want to make some kind of difference, no matter how small, 
and I want to follow the calling God has placed on my heart.

my assignment...should I choose to accept it

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
You have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
Surely I have a delightful inheritance.


You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with JOY in your presence,
with eternal pleasures in your right hand.


Psalm 16:5-6,11


Sometimes I struggle with my assignment. Sometimes my assignment seems too small. Too mundane. As if I'm making no progress in my desire to make a difference in the world. Some create mission organizations and travel the world. In this season I travel to the kids' school, the gym, church, and Wal-mart.


Other times my assignment seems too big. Eighteen minutes of choreography in the Christmas program? Five kids and only one of me to help them on a particular moment?


I'm trying to learn to rest in the boundary lines that God has given me. Each day I have a new assignment. It might be to do the same old laundry and drive the kids back to school again with fresh joy and a sense of purpose. It might be to beg him for parenting wisdom or a renewed love for my amazing spouse when life is causing distance.


At the Catalyst conference in Atlanta, I watched several artists paint during worship sets. As Hillsong United led 13,000 people in praising God, one artist worked quietly in a corner, painting his messages that would later be auctioned to support Amazima ministries in Uganda. The paintings all had a dead black bird, claws up, in common. As I wondered what message was hidden within, I later saw one that said, "Let it die"...Do you wish that the speaker's calling were your own? Let it die, so that His dream for you may live.


I don't know how many people stopped in the cattle-drive lines for lunch to take in what he was quietly saying, but it spoke to me. Let "your dream" for your life die. Give God full permission to do whatever He dreams with your life. Be it mundane and quiet, or spectacularly "significant" in everyone's eyes, including your own.


I recently had lunch with a dear friend for her birthday. We talked about how sometimes, feeling like you want to do something "big" for God is a misunderstanding. People tell us that we are smart and special when we are young, and instead of encouraging us to go and reach our potential, it places a hidden burden on our hearts of "you are not doing enough". We carry around inside of us the idea that we must do something "great for God" in order to count and fulfill the idea of what our life should be or produce.


I am forty years old and still reconciling that greatness in His eyes is completely different from what I consider to be noteworthy. He gives the assignments. If it matters too much for me to do something "big", then I need to spend some more time folding laundry.


God, I pray for your renewed perspective today. I ask to only seek you, and not influence or impact on the world. I pray that as I attend to your every direction, I will have exactly the life that pleases you most.
Help me love and attend to the ones you have placed before me. May I shepherd these well and not seek greater things.


Thank you for bringing rest to my body and my soul as I learn to release my hopes, dreams, and expectations to you.


Thank you for seeing my desire to do something (anything) that might please you. I think of Peter, James, and John who offered to build tabernacles for you on the Mount of Transfiguration after seeing your glory. (Luke 9:33)  They didn't have any clue what to say or do, but they wanted to respond to You. Take my desire to respond to You, and do with it, whatever you wish, for YOUR glory and delight alone.


Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for reminding me to "cease striving" and just know You.
I love you,
Taryn


Psalm 46:10 Cease striving and know that I am God.


Jeremiah 45:5 Are you seeking great things for yourself? Seek them not.

 

certain hope

Do not put your hope in 
____________________


which is so UNCERTAIN,


but put your hope in GOD,


who richly provides us


with everything for our enjoyment.


1 Timothy 6:17

Lessons from jellyfish

Phil Vischer, creator of Veggie Tales, writes in the September 2011 issue of World magazine of the inspiration he found in observing jellyfish...after the bankruptcy:

"Jellyfish can't locomote. They can't choose their own course. They can't go from point A to point B. They can only stay in the current and trust the current to carry them where they need to be.... I was saying, "All right, God, here's what I'm going to do for you. Now you just stand back and bless it and watch me go!"

I only get my form when I stay in the current of God's will and allow Him to carry me where He wants me to be."



I'm not supposed to be pursuing impact, I'm supposed to be pursuing God. And when I pursue God I will have exactly as much impact as He wants me to have.

For lack of REVELATION the people perish.        Proverbs 29:18 
Revelation implies God speaking to us, and giving us His dreams...not blessing the things we want to do for Him.

What She Said

The ice-cream friend sent this blog to the bath salt friend who sent it on to me.


I loved her point of "yes, we prayed for this. No, we haven't changed our minds. Yes, this is the hardest thing we've ever done, and yes, we need help." Following God doesn't guarantee a life of ease.

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

Weep with those who Weep

"When Jesus saw her [Mary] weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit ...





Rejoice with those who rejoice;


Weep with those who weep.


Romans 12:15b

Two tiny containers of Starbucks Java Chip ice-cream. Tiny because my friend knew that I am trying to be aware of portion control. Starbucks Java Chip because she knows that it's my very favorite.


A bucket of bath salts (sprinkled with more chocolates) from another friend who knew to come by even when I told her not to bother. Long baths are among my most favorite quiet moments.


Thank you, God, for the women friends in my life who know how to weep with those who weep. When others love deeply, but are powerless to show it in a way that I can understand, these friends show up at my door, uninvited, unannounced, and stay just long enough to let me know that they care.


Thank you for reaching out to me, Lord Jesus, through believing, loving, weeping friends.


Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2


Let us not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
1 John 3:18

Hope Deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a 


dream fulfilled is a tree of life.


Proverbs 13:12

The Storm on the Sea of Galilee

Rembrandt

1633

Lord Jesus,
Please help me to walk through HOPE DEFERRED with you, hand in hand. My heart is broken, but you promise that you are near to the broken-hearted.


My heart wants to close itself off to the possibility of ever having my dream fulfilled. It wants to curl up in a ball on the floor, naked and cold. It wants to shrink back.


Help me to have HOPE. Hope not in receiving the fulfillment of my dream, but HOPE IN YOU.


You confront me again and again. Psalm 25. My HOPE is to be in YOU ALONE. Not in any children. Not the love of a husband or the satisfaction of being trusted with a task that seems significant and personally fulfilling. You will not allow any competitors in my small heart.


I sit, as Job did, and wait in the ashes. Not waiting for you to change things, but waiting on you. I am your servant. You call the shots. I am to wait. Yet, I am not just your servant. I am your adopted daughter. I owe my very life to you, and yield it to your purposes in gratitude.


Jen Hatmaker's adoption blog said that they very fact that beauty comes from ashes implies that there will be some ashes. Help me sit and wait quietly before you. Utterly humbled by  my powerlessness and inability to make any difference. Be still my soul, there may yet be hope. God's hard words are never his last words.


Help me to trust your leadership through my circumstances. ALL THE WAYS OF THE LORD ARE LOVING AND FAITHFUL. You are good, whatever comes. There was a plan in heaven that was put in place long before I ever was aware of my dream for adoption. Heaven is undisturbed, even as I weep and wail. May the calm that reigns in heaven reign in my heart. May I lift my eyes to you again and again, focusing not on the wild wind and waves that threaten to sink my soul, but on you. May I hear your voice above the howl of the wind and come to you on the water of faith.


Quietly,
Taryn

Hotdogs for breakfast

Mommy, me three hot dog....


Hmmm, having to regulate the amount of hotdogs eaten in any given day was a new experience for me.


Other things have been very much the same, in any culture or any language.


"Mommy, lookameeeee!" is Vilnis' number one useful English expression. Jumping in the pool 100 times in a row without ever losing the desire to have each jump be celebrated and noticed.


"Mommy, me pretty?", nine year old Natalija wonders. "Yes, Natalija. You are very pretty."
"Me hair?"
"Yes, I like your hair-do. I think it's cute and spunky."
"Me too."


Thank you, God, for a normal day of normal things.
Thank you, Grandmama and Granddaddy for loving on Laurel and Brennan at sailing camp this week. Three kids now seems like a breeze.
Perspective.

Psalm 121

"Run for the hills" was the advice given to my husband by a well-meaning Christian friend...a male friend...a pastor friend, when venting about the anger management issues we have been dealing with.


To which, this verse popped into my head in defense: Psalm 121:1-3, 7


I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-
He who watches over you will not slumber....
He will watch over your life


Safety is not in self-preservation, but in obedience to the loving hands of God, our Father.


This may be an obedience journey in the beginning, but I can already see so many blessings that may come, not just for them, but for us all.


Sweet hugs, smiles, thank yous, and a safe place to grow up and learn of the one who LOVES them.


May our love not grow tired and weary.
May our compassions never fail, the very way that you love us.
May faithfulness never leave us.


God, only You can love like that.
Please teach us.

237 times

My name "Mama, Mommy, mamu, MOM!!!! was called 237 times today. Two hundred and thirty-seven times that I counted. I reached a desperate point around mid-day...not sure that I can do this.

Tears at bedtime (not mine).
Smiles and hugs.
Stories shared.
Swimming in the pool.
Playdough swept off the floor.
Bone weary.

Why is five exponentially harder than three?

Psalm 55:22a, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you.” (NLT)

John 13:35, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (NLT)