a safe place

Psalm 84:3

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ³ Even the sparrow finds a home,
      and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young
   at a place near your altar,
      O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!

Birds often make a nest at the top of our back porch columns.
They are a reminder to me of the safe haven "near God's altar"

Yesterday I met with my third younger friend this year. The third friend who would sit on my couch and confide in the me the hurt they had suffered from sexual abuse and neglect as a child. As the tears poured down, and Scriptures were shared, and God's presence comforted... I understood that we have been given a mission. My personal anxiety melted. This is not about me, my family, and my comfort and ability to control.


I do not know what N and V have suffered. I do not know what hurts they may have buried deep within. Hurts that may not even surface until some distant time in the future, taking everyone by surprise.


It is not my job to heal, but to participate with God in providing a safe place close to Him where they may find healing.

Healing Begins lyrics, Tenth Avenue North

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear


So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LartL77Nuqs&feature=related

I am here

Caffeinated. High Strung.
Tears welling up in my eyes as I pour out my heart.
You are the lifter of my head.
I feel your arms around me. Lifting my chin.


"I love you, and you can do this.
                 I am here."




You're blessed when you stay on course,
walking steadily on the road revealed by God.
You're blessed when you follow His directions,
doing your best to find Him.
That's right - you don't go off on your own;
You walk straight along the road He set.


Psalm 119:1-3 MSG

The flagstone path to the koi pond in our first home. This was one of my favorite quiet spots to meet with God.

But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head (Psalm 3:3).

Be at rest O my soul

Be at rest, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.
Psalm 116:7


I said to myself, Relax and  REST. God has showered you with blessings. (Message)

June has been a whirlwind.
Family trip to the beach.
Vacation Bible School
Baseball camp for Brennan and Camp KidJam (away church camp) for Laurel
Filling out homestudy and dossier paperwork, doctor's appointments, birth certificates, marriage license copies, insurance papers, financial papers, travel papers
Landscaping our swampland
Girls with Pearls
Planning an American Girl/Pool Party/Sleepover for Laurel's 10th birthday


I spoke with my very pregnant friend, just days away from delivery:
I had always thought that all the weird stuff you do, like waking up at 4:00 in the morning, cleaning out closets, shopping and planning and organizing was hormonal. During my three pregnancies, I went through intense "nesting". Now, just days away from meeting Natalija and Vilnis for the first time, I'm nesting again. Up at 4. Lists, shopping, mind whirling. Anticipating, Worrying over having to get a hotel in Atlanta instead of being able to bring them straight home. EXPECTANT.


Be at rest, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.


God is gracious. It is He who makes things right, our most compassionate God. God takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, He saved me. (vs. 6 MSG)

Mary Jayne's welcome banner

It is amazing to me that the Lord can grow such a love in my heart for two children that I have never met. We have a picture. We have a very short bio. We've had a conversation with someone who has hosted them before. And yet, God has birthed a LOVE in my heart that can only be explained by Himself, and His great love for us. We did nothing to deserve love, and yet, He chose to love us. When we were born, we did nothing to make our parents love us, and yet they did. Loved us enough to sacrifice time and money, and freedom, and sleep and ambitions for us. Amazing love that never quits.


God, thank you, for adopting us into your family. Thank you for having a heart so big to have room for each of us. Thank you for the enthusiasm our family has shown in taking two children in to be a part of us.


The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:23)
This is God's work. We rub our eyes- we can hardly believe it! This is the very day God acted- let's celebrate and be festive! (MSG)


He has bathed us in light. (27)

Dawn and Dusk

Dawn and dusk take turns calling, 
"Come and worship."
Psalm 65:8, Message

CONTACT

We have made contact.


My husband nonchalantly mentioned on the drive home from the lake last night that he had emailed a recommended adoption agency for information on what to do next. I am thrilled. Thrilled (almost) beyond words. :-)


We have had some well-meaning friends and family think we are nuts to proceed without ever meeting these two beautiful children. I understand their concerns. I am also so very grateful that God is allowing us the faith to move forward without knowing all the information. As I tried to explain yesterday, when you have a biological child, you don't get a test-drive experience. They come as they are, and you work with what you've been given. Our own three "bio children" are both wonderful and fantastically frustrating at times. They didn't get to choose us either. They have us, warts and all. And I believe that just as God decided which personalities would make up the Davis family in the womb, He is also knitting these two in our hearts, before they have ever done anything to merit such incredibly strong love. Adoption is becoming to me a picture of how much God treasures us, completely aside from any worthiness on our part.


In Kelly Minter's study of Ruth, she mentions the contrast between Ruth and Boaz and their counterparts, Orpah and the unnamed potential kinsman-redeemer relative. The latter didn't do anything wrong in choosing to walk away from the adventure offered them. They acted safely, perhaps wisely, in consideration of themselves and the family members that they were already responsible for. Then, they were never heard from again. Andy and I desperately want to be apart of God's story, even if it means risk, and personal cost. May we learn to walk like Jesus (and act more like Him on a daily basis. Sibling rivalry, anyone?)

A Jesse Tree Ornament, symbolizing how Boaz and Ruth's obedience led to the family of Christ

We have also been amazed-slash-amused at our growing adoption awareness. You've noticed how once you buy a silver Toyota Sienna minivan, you are blown away by how many other silver Toyota Sienna minivans there are in the parking lot, not to mention the Honda Odysseys and many other makes and models. We feel as if we are on the very tip of the adoption iceberg, and feel very connected in this experience to others on similar journeys. I keep meeting people who were adopted, or have adopted, or are considering adoption, and I feel strengthened by their collective experiences. I can relate this a little to my first pregnancy. All of the sudden everyone wanted to tell me their baby stories, or pat me on the belly (complete strangers in the elevator even!). A common uniting experience. As God leads us on this journey, may we be ambassadors for Him and His heart for others.


Keep your eyes open for God. Watch for His works. Be alert for signs of His presence.
Psalm 105:4 NIV


Seek His face always
Psalm 105:4 Message

Sick Days

The virus in question turned out to be strep...not just for Laurel, but also for Brennan...and possibly for me. I'm still waiting to see if my fatigue is viral, or a by-product of being the resident nurse the past few days. I have forgotten what it is like to have someone crawl into your bed and throw up on your covers. I have forgotten what it is like to sleep on the couch next to another sick child the next day. We have been blessed. It has been a while since a full-blown Davis Family Funk.






Today I am thankful for fresh laundry...and my latest discovery, Tide HE Febreze Sport Active Fresh scent. Mmmm. I love clean, sanitized sheets. I most likely would have forgotten to be thankful for them without said incident.

I am thankful for the kindness of God when great aunt Carolyn just happened to be shopping for produce when we drug ourselves into Kroger for an armload of popsicles. "Can you stay here, just a minute, while I run like mad through the store?"






I am even thankful for t.v. which usually annoys me. Episode after episode of Little House on the Prairie and Looney Tunes stood vigil while I did the housework. "I can watch t.v. ALL DAY if I want to?" asked Brennan incredulously? "Yes. It's a sick day." (Thankfully, he slept through most of it and then went on the Star Wars Wii the next.) I so need my quiet!

I enjoyed reading fairy tales to my girls from my ancient (circa 1971) copy. The book is beautifully bound with blue tie-dye duct tape, but has been a kept treasure as I still remember climbing into my Grandmother's bed and having her read to me when I was young. I was surprised as I read aloud, at how few things were edited out in the 1970's. My five year old looked at me with big round eyes during a tale of the Red Shoes by The Brothers Grimm. He really cut her feet off and then she hobbled back to town on crutches and wooden feet? That would HURT!!!" Didn't remember that part before I started in on the story. Pre- Political Correctness Era.






I think my children are feeling better. I hear fighting again upstairs.

Why I Have Not Blogged As Much as I Would Have Liked in May

Mary Jayne's gymnastics

Landscaping projects

Mary Jayne monkey bars champion
She got blisters and refused to remove these mittens for days

Cinderella Soccer left ONE cleat...doubling back from piano practice to hunt for the missing shoe

Mother's Day at my brother's led into the "why can't we have a dog?" campaign.
The allergic welts on my calves from Miss Jingle's kisses were not convincing enough evidence for my three.

Making "dirt" cupcakes for the school bake sale that we could not attend since we were heading to a  marriage enrichment evening. Totally forgot to add the eggs...back to the drawing board for a second attempt. Where was my brain? Probably on to the next thing in May Madness.

Hosting a hamburger cookout for our Sunday School class to get to enjoy one another's company without our kids.

Watching the families of geese invade our neighborhood. Watching Andy chase them out of our yard with a remote controlled car.

Eating up the leftover popsicles from strep week

Learning the art of the hula hoop and seeing Cirque de Soleil's Allegria with Mom for a GNO

Being amazed by a lightning storm on the back porch, and then being blessed to see a  double rainbow right in front of our house. Helping a hummingbird to escape out of our garage the next day.

Mary Jayne's tap dance recital

Finishing the AWANAS books

Not being that sad that we didn't go far in the coach's pitch tournament...or that we missed Brennan's award ceremony and  Tiger Cub Scout Badge awards ceremony. (Thanks Aunt Nee Nee and friends who carpooled for us)
Because.....

We have new blessings to consider. We are greatly anticipating the arrival of Vilnis and Natalija from Latvia this summer. We attended training for our hosting program in Charlotte and even had a real date on the way back home...One of those, "I DO remember you" moments.


May has been exhausting with the end of everything. Preschool water day, elementary school water day, 
writer's day at school, baking chocolate chip cookies for Laurel's chocolate presentation at school, testing week (Interrupted by strep week), trips to the doctor and pharmacy, trip to the dentist for a filling. Celebrating the mothers. Celebrating and appreciating the teachers, the coaches, the volunteers, the leaders. Saying good-bye to our college students for the summer. Anticipating the summer weddings and showers for the babies and brides. Loving the graduates. Trying to squeeze in one last play date for this one or that one. Trying to plan Laurel's special 10th birthday party...trying to plan my 40th birthday party...Buying the presents for other kids' parties. Trying to work out arrangements for our family beach week. Filling out the forms and writing the checks for the summer camps. Planning ahead for VBS. Trying to find a day when the girls in my Bible studies can get together to finish our study...or go out to dinner and a movie. Trying to plan the summer study at our house. Trying to figure out ways to make each of the 36 days that Natalija and Vilnis are with us impacting and life-changing. Trying to hear the Lord's voice for the future of our family.

How blessed is the man you train  God, the woman you instruct in your word, providing a circle of quiet within the clamor.
Psalm 95:12 Message version