Parenting is not for Sissies

 

Some days are all smiles and sunshine. The ones we capture digitally and remember forever. Some we hope are washed permanently into the sea of forgetfulness. We have had several less-than-stellar days lately and are redirected to call upon Jesus to help us parent well instead of relying on our own strength or perceived wisdom.

 

I am on my face again as a mom of five. I recently screamed at my bickering children and slammed my hand against the dashboard (while slamming on the brakes) to squash them into silent submission. Their bickering stopped in stunned silence, but this was not the family harmony I am praying for. Enforced silence - not hearts overflowing with gratitude and respect. Toes drawing lines in the sand. The silence of "if you have nothing kind to say, you will say nothing at all."

Our normal routine is to read from a devotional on the way to school. Things were a little different as we had an extra child with a different school schedule, and we needed to trade cars with my husband for repairs and didn't have the routine devotional with us. One step out of routine and this band of ruffians was thrown for a quarrelsome loop.

Having just read a link from a Christian school to a Christain family website on how to train your Christian kids from whining to gratitude, I pulled out the suggestion of "How many things can we count that we are grateful for on the ten minute drive to school?" This seemed like a Mary Poppins magical good idea. We have even done this before with no issues. This day, however, my children erupted into great theological controversy over whether Jesus and God were the same answer and began fighting one another in the desire to be right instead of counting any of their blessings.

And so my parenting tirade began.

Why is it that when your intent is to point others to a love for Jesus, you end up showing disrespect yourself and bad manners? I did apologize to the one non-fighting kid. I hoped to gather up enough calm to apologize to the others when they returned home from school. Only the teachers in the carpool line wished them a good day. I was still too angry. I prayed at the curb that we would learn to love each other and treat each other well. I thanked God for giving us fresh starts from bad ones. That's as far as I could go. And in His grace, he gave us another day to learn how to be a family. A family that blows up and blows it, and asks forgiveness, and starts again.

Father, help my children learn to live peaceably with one another and not have such a deep desire to be first, right, and argumentative. Help me parent from a place of calm and not indignation. Make us fiercely devoted to You and one another...and not just fierce.