What She Said

The ice-cream friend sent this blog to the bath salt friend who sent it on to me.


I loved her point of "yes, we prayed for this. No, we haven't changed our minds. Yes, this is the hardest thing we've ever done, and yes, we need help." Following God doesn't guarantee a life of ease.

http://jenhatmaker.com/blog/2011/09/06/after-the-airport

Weep with those who Weep

"When Jesus saw her [Mary] weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit ...





Rejoice with those who rejoice;


Weep with those who weep.


Romans 12:15b

Two tiny containers of Starbucks Java Chip ice-cream. Tiny because my friend knew that I am trying to be aware of portion control. Starbucks Java Chip because she knows that it's my very favorite.


A bucket of bath salts (sprinkled with more chocolates) from another friend who knew to come by even when I told her not to bother. Long baths are among my most favorite quiet moments.


Thank you, God, for the women friends in my life who know how to weep with those who weep. When others love deeply, but are powerless to show it in a way that I can understand, these friends show up at my door, uninvited, unannounced, and stay just long enough to let me know that they care.


Thank you for reaching out to me, Lord Jesus, through believing, loving, weeping friends.


Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2


Let us not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
1 John 3:18

Hope Deferred

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a 


dream fulfilled is a tree of life.


Proverbs 13:12

The Storm on the Sea of Galilee

Rembrandt

1633

Lord Jesus,
Please help me to walk through HOPE DEFERRED with you, hand in hand. My heart is broken, but you promise that you are near to the broken-hearted.


My heart wants to close itself off to the possibility of ever having my dream fulfilled. It wants to curl up in a ball on the floor, naked and cold. It wants to shrink back.


Help me to have HOPE. Hope not in receiving the fulfillment of my dream, but HOPE IN YOU.


You confront me again and again. Psalm 25. My HOPE is to be in YOU ALONE. Not in any children. Not the love of a husband or the satisfaction of being trusted with a task that seems significant and personally fulfilling. You will not allow any competitors in my small heart.


I sit, as Job did, and wait in the ashes. Not waiting for you to change things, but waiting on you. I am your servant. You call the shots. I am to wait. Yet, I am not just your servant. I am your adopted daughter. I owe my very life to you, and yield it to your purposes in gratitude.


Jen Hatmaker's adoption blog said that they very fact that beauty comes from ashes implies that there will be some ashes. Help me sit and wait quietly before you. Utterly humbled by  my powerlessness and inability to make any difference. Be still my soul, there may yet be hope. God's hard words are never his last words.


Help me to trust your leadership through my circumstances. ALL THE WAYS OF THE LORD ARE LOVING AND FAITHFUL. You are good, whatever comes. There was a plan in heaven that was put in place long before I ever was aware of my dream for adoption. Heaven is undisturbed, even as I weep and wail. May the calm that reigns in heaven reign in my heart. May I lift my eyes to you again and again, focusing not on the wild wind and waves that threaten to sink my soul, but on you. May I hear your voice above the howl of the wind and come to you on the water of faith.


Quietly,
Taryn

Hotdogs for breakfast

Mommy, me three hot dog....


Hmmm, having to regulate the amount of hotdogs eaten in any given day was a new experience for me.


Other things have been very much the same, in any culture or any language.


"Mommy, lookameeeee!" is Vilnis' number one useful English expression. Jumping in the pool 100 times in a row without ever losing the desire to have each jump be celebrated and noticed.


"Mommy, me pretty?", nine year old Natalija wonders. "Yes, Natalija. You are very pretty."
"Me hair?"
"Yes, I like your hair-do. I think it's cute and spunky."
"Me too."


Thank you, God, for a normal day of normal things.
Thank you, Grandmama and Granddaddy for loving on Laurel and Brennan at sailing camp this week. Three kids now seems like a breeze.
Perspective.

Psalm 121

"Run for the hills" was the advice given to my husband by a well-meaning Christian friend...a male friend...a pastor friend, when venting about the anger management issues we have been dealing with.


To which, this verse popped into my head in defense: Psalm 121:1-3, 7


I lift my eyes to the hills- where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-
He who watches over you will not slumber....
He will watch over your life


Safety is not in self-preservation, but in obedience to the loving hands of God, our Father.


This may be an obedience journey in the beginning, but I can already see so many blessings that may come, not just for them, but for us all.


Sweet hugs, smiles, thank yous, and a safe place to grow up and learn of the one who LOVES them.


May our love not grow tired and weary.
May our compassions never fail, the very way that you love us.
May faithfulness never leave us.


God, only You can love like that.
Please teach us.

237 times

My name "Mama, Mommy, mamu, MOM!!!! was called 237 times today. Two hundred and thirty-seven times that I counted. I reached a desperate point around mid-day...not sure that I can do this.

Tears at bedtime (not mine).
Smiles and hugs.
Stories shared.
Swimming in the pool.
Playdough swept off the floor.
Bone weary.

Why is five exponentially harder than three?

Psalm 55:22a, “Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you.” (NLT)

John 13:35, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (NLT)

a safe place

Psalm 84:3

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ³ Even the sparrow finds a home,
      and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young
   at a place near your altar,
      O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God!

Birds often make a nest at the top of our back porch columns.
They are a reminder to me of the safe haven "near God's altar"

Yesterday I met with my third younger friend this year. The third friend who would sit on my couch and confide in the me the hurt they had suffered from sexual abuse and neglect as a child. As the tears poured down, and Scriptures were shared, and God's presence comforted... I understood that we have been given a mission. My personal anxiety melted. This is not about me, my family, and my comfort and ability to control.


I do not know what N and V have suffered. I do not know what hurts they may have buried deep within. Hurts that may not even surface until some distant time in the future, taking everyone by surprise.


It is not my job to heal, but to participate with God in providing a safe place close to Him where they may find healing.

Healing Begins lyrics, Tenth Avenue North

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear


So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LartL77Nuqs&feature=related