Sunday, November 13, 2016

Thankful in June 2015

June 2015 Gratitude:

1. The ability to send pictures and videos throughout the day- instantaneous communication (when desired)
2. Natalia being recommended to lead a small group of third graders next year at church: learning to mentor at a young age
3. L going to a pool party with TLC friends- celebrating the end of an era
4. N getting accepted into AVID- comforted that she will have an academic umbrella to help her succeed and prepare for college
5. B watching amazing guitarists on youtube - being able to learn from others we've never met
6. Finishing a school year with cream soda in loyal says bottles and ice cream sundaes
7. SS lake day
8. A cello found nearby on Craig's List
9. Free doughnuts at Krispy Kreme given for good grades-  boxes of them
10. Great turnout for Bible Study
11. Lunch with my Soul Sisters under umbrellas at a cafe
12. Free football camp for the boys
13. Smoothie movie night at home - summer!
14. Traveling to Europe (traveling anywhere!)
15. N's sicknever quickly over
16. Cathedrals built with majestic artistry
17. Cafés, coffees, and afternoon tea
18. Some quiet down time by rose bed gardens
19. Cooler temperatures and vast parks
20. Only one day of rain in England - unheard of!
21. A husband who drives to Charlotte on Father's Day and fixes the flat on the van
22. Horseback riding lessons for the girls at the Crooks' farm
23. Professional carpet cleaning to get the puke smell out of the boys' carpet
24. Friends who are happy for us when we posted a third anniversary Gotcha Day picture
25. The sounds of our house: listening to MJ's auditon practice, B's guitar, N's piano, L's violin, W's reading- enjoying watching them learn and grow
26. Reading a book in the afternoon
27. Fresh starts
28. An open afternoon for the girls to lounge around at Mimi's house
29. A friend sharing tomatoes from her garden
30. NOT driving in my car all day

Thankful in May 2015

May 2015 Gratitude:


1. Sunday school women who pray over me and bring my family a casserole when I will be with Mom in the hospital
2. So proud of Mary Jayne's theatrical abilities put to good use for Jesus!
3. Thankful for a family picnic together on a beautiful spring day
4. The pull of the Holy Spirit who sends tears and a heart for missions
5. Watching my brother tenderly care for my mom in the hospital
6. Thandful that our kids won an award for scripture memory
7. Cars that keep running
8. Friends and family that visit mom while she is in the hospital - notes, balloons, flowers, cards
9. Family camp silly songs, blob bouncing, zip-lining, fireworks, square dancing
10. Kids handing me a flower on Mother's Day
11. My generous husband's desire to send kids to camp who otherwise would not be able to experience God's love and     message in this way.    
12. Mom getting to come home from the hospital!
13. An encouraging solid line-drive hit for B
14. Another day with mom
15.Listening with mama pride to the eighth grade orchestra play "Pink Panther"
16. A thirty second cuddle before we're off in different directions
17. Brennan's hearty laugh
18. Cool air and an orderly (for the moment) home
19. So proud of girls who haver scribed long a ad hard to make beautiful music
20. The wonder of flight and air travel
21. Key lime pie and the search for the best recipe on the island
22. Having child care (and drivers) so that A and I can reconnect
23. The amazing blue-green waters of the Keys
24. An opportunity to exercise on the beach - yoga under palm trees
25. The opportunity to try a paddle board yoga class at sunset
26. Memorial Day - celebrating those who gave their lives for our freedom
27. Barry's help with pharmacies- the gift of having a friend who is a pediatrician
28. Taking Natalia to choose a new puzzle and finding the right size frame for the Irish one she finished
29. Finding clothes bargains; cheap thrills at the consignment boutique
30. Mom giving L a haircut

Thankful in April 2015

April 2015 Gratitude:


1. The trampoline getting good use (anything but computer games!)
2. Family pulling together around Mom during her cancer diagnosis
3. L being able to fins a dress she liked with Grandmama
4. The little gift of a tapestry "DO NOT DISTURB" sign from Jane
5. God holding off the rain when I lead Pilates for FIA
6. Beautiful dogwoods and azaleas abloom in the south
7. Having LIFE in His name
8. Being able to lead a good Bible Study lesson for Sunday School
9. Being able to sleep by the whale sharks at the Georgia Aquarium on a school field trip
10. Being able to go with B to tour Turner Field and see baseball through the eyes of someone who plays
11. A not-too-packed Spring Saturday
12. The whole family at the ball filed cheering (or at least present for moral support)
13. An amazing number of honors classes offered at our public schools
14. Fresh picked strawberries in season
15. The possibility of good friends for L next year at RNE
16. Pretty colored toenail polish
17. Helpfulness from the school office staff
18. Zumba class with Mary Jayne at school; running with B in the rain; sweaty red-faced kids
19. Seeing African dance and drums
20. Mom, Trey, and Michelle together, sharing a pew
21. A day to sit with Mom and discuss the future
22. L feeling pretty for the school dance
23. A's safe travel back and forth from Houston
24.people who come to Zumba FIA in the park, even when it's raining
25. Free henna tattoos and food samples at international day at the library
26.Picnic in the park with the Sunday school class
27. Buying sweets from the candy barrels with Mom at Mast General Store
28. Watching kids we've known since bit party walk aisles to receive academic awards
29. B's happiness to go to the library and pick up the next book in a series
30. Being able to drive to grocery stores and search for "Grapples" even if we didn't find any

Thankful in March 2015

March 2015 Gratitude:
1. Rain giving us an extra night at home together
2. Gardenia-scented candles
3. Riding to an event with girlfriends
4. A husband and IT coordinator who could recover my files when they crashed
5. Snubbing Pilates and having someone I didn't know tell me how glad they were that I had taught the class
6. Women's Ministry: all the hands coming together to pull off an event
7. The delight of being given the opportunity to speak to speak and share what I'm learning.
8. Bringing Gzranddaddy joy by having a seventieth birthday dinner; enjoying the family photoshoot
9. A blanket and back support on a cold baseball game bleacher
10. Meeting working girl Stephanie for lunch
11. Encouraging a friend with a new baby
12. Asking a neighbor if she'd like to go on a walk
13. A vehicle that works again (to drive family all over the planet)
14. A rainy Saturday to get to stay in and get some work done plus time to play
15. Having a room to share with guests
16. Watching a rare family movie together on the couch
17. Making apple and key lime pies for Pi day- making math teachers smile
18. Meeting with Soul Sisters at Betsy's house
19. thankful that we are both have each other to parent when we need to "tag-out" emotionally or physically
20. THANKFUL THAT MOM'S CANCER WAS DETECTED EARLY!!!
21. Trey being able to stay at the hospital during Mom's biopsy
22. A friend who brings me chocolates and a journal when she hears that I've relieved bad news
23. Very's pizza night shared with family friends; building a relationship with our favorite waitress
24. A date with my husband trying a new restaurant
25. Having coffee with mom at her kitchen table
26. Kids playing outside on a beautiful day on the trampoline
27. Medicine
28. Hearing my kids giggle
29. Watching one kid read to another
30. A night of my man's attention and affection
31. The promise held in a new day to try and get things right

Thankful in February 2015

February 2015"s Gratitude:
1. Watching my husband kneel by our bed and begin the day in prayer
2. Watching our kids clean the hamster cages together
3. Laurel's excellent study skills
4. A job transition handled well with no hard feelings
5. Andy massaging sore muscles
6. Hearing my son say "I love you, Mom" when he leaves for school
7. Watching my hurricane of a man take the girls on a "forced family fun" bike ride
8. Thankful for Andy's cleaning the van
9. Thankful for an evening of connection
10. Thankful for encouraging feedback from my Zumba and Pilates classes
11. A good book to read borrowed from the library
12. A husband who delivers flowers to my mom and the girls for Valentine's
13. A half-day of school when the kids can kick back and not be rushed or hustled
14. Sweetness shown by (and to) neighbors, family, and friends
15. An afternoon AND evening at home with my husband; trying to figure out a plan to date and enjoy one another instead of being two ships that pass in the night
16. Heat on very cold days after being bundled up on the farm
17. Andy's professional counsel for Maria's business ministry to trafficked women
18. Choosing to press snooze and snuggle in strong arms for five more minutes
19. Happy to have Laurel complete her first violin audition in spite of performance anxiety
20. The creation of a romance idea notebook for date inspiration
21.Elephant rides for the kids and opportunity to get together as a family
22. A church that thinks, plans, and prays over major decisions for years in advance
23. A chance to go on field trips with my children and learn new things myself
24. Seeing snowflakes with six sides stuck to my grey wool jacket
25. Emergency subs provided
26. Safe travels home through "snowmeggedon"
27. A double date with friends
28. Chocolate peanut butter protein shakes that actually taste good

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Thankful for January 2015

As fall leaves flurry in my neighborhood, I began to feel this year draw to a close. I stand in my yard in bare feet (this is actually a thing: groundedness) which is not very hard considering that in South Carolina it can still be eighty degrees and have the leaves fall at the same time.  


I decided to blog my daily gratitude as a way of reviewing the upside of my life since I have been frustrated lately. My messy, imperfect life still has moments every day if I choose to have eyes to look for them. These are recorded in hand-written journals, but if my family ever takes an interest in our everyday history, it will be easier to access. I don't expect my kids to care very much, but maybe a granddaughter one day will think this is interesting. Kind of like the antiques my grandmother loved, my parents didn't care for and I bring back. :-)

Beginning with January 2015: I have much to be thankful for.

1. The kids laughing after making scavenger hunts for one another
2. Enjoying a day with mom at her house- making lunch, washing dishes, drinking coffee at her kitchen table, visiting
3. Discovering that you can use Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons at Buy Buy Baby and saving $50 on a group gift
4. An afternoon to read a book in cosy covers
5. Watching a beautiful full moonset
6. "When morning Gilda the skies" - rosy pink clouds while driving carpool
7. Being able to curl up with Andy after his long late committee meeting
8. A fireplace that works;
9. A conversation with a woman at a thrift store, collecting blankets for Syrian refugees
10. My snuggly and warm man, down comforters, central heat, fuzzy socks
11. Seasoned mamas sharing collective wisdom with a new mom
12. My son's persistent efforts to invite neighbor friends to church; a heart stirred for the people of South Sudan
13. People praying for me on filming a short video
14. Gas prices back under $2 a gallon: $32 a tank!
15. Being able to meet my boys for lunch
16. Being able to text girlfriends for recipes
17. A Woodwick sputtering candle
18. Sharing my story with the third grade girls; having a nice dinner together for Mimi's birthday
19. Grandmama taking some of the kids to a movie
20. A good night's sleep
21. Being able to lend some guidance on the layout of a daughter's science project layout (but not do the work for her)
22. Leading a Zumba working on a women's retreat breakout session
23. Grateful for like-minded women to lead in the Breathe study
24. Having great report cards to celebrate with a personal pizza at Very's
25. A little blob of chocolate fondue on top of a crunchy waffle; Discussions with our children about 2 Peter 1:5-7 character after dinner
26. A warm Hook-and-Ladder ham and Swiss sandwich after church on Sunday; A sweet feeling of community in Sunday School
27. Laughing around Betsy's kitchen table during lunch with friends
28. An impromptu slow dance in the kitchen at breakfast before A rushes put the door
29. Laurel winning second place at the science fair and Marwin winning the innovation award at the International Builders Show
30. MJ having the opportunity to play Morgan; lunch with an old neighborhood friend; finding my lost gym phone
31. Mandi's willingness to be Mary Jayne's speech coach;
Teaching our kids to reflect on God's provision and practice gratitude. Even if there are eye rolls and the lists often sound the same, I think it helps for us to develop this discipline when it's so easy to get caught up in comparison and dissatisfaction.

Struggles of an Idealistic Mom


I struggle with idealism and romanticism. It's straight from my personality profile. I want to work hard at family life and have things roll along smoothly. I want to organize and clean and be able to find things without a mad rush out the door. But, I live with six people of different personalities than mine, and we all want different things. So sometimes I just need to shed a few tears for the way I wish life were and then move on to seeing what can be done about it. We've had the talks. The charts of responsibilities are posted, and I am tired of managing more than mothering. Really tired at a soul level. I'm going for humor now to see if that gets through.




There are more gallons of milk in the outside fridge just waiting for someone to replenish this almost empty carton with two sips left in the jug. Laziness overcomes my family every time and it leaves me slack-jawed. Empty boxes gaping with their lids wide open in the pantry. How am I raising people who think that someone else should always handle it? Same goes for the dishes scattered in the sink when the dishwasher is right there waiting to receive them. Or the clothes that were folded but are now pushed to the floor and thought to be dirty again. Or the shoes that never make it to the shoebox that we built for that purpose. Or the recycling that is pitched on the trash. Or the food I made dumped in the trash with no thought to the cost or labor involved. Or the dog everyone wanted but only I remember to feed. Tears of frustration and annoyance.

I feel like a failure.

There is no transfer of the lessons I am trying to teach over and over again. Or, if there is, I cannot yet see them.


Next verse, same as the first.

The aftermath of Halloween binging covering every surface of unnamed child's room, closet, floor, and under the bed. I find the Kind bar wrapper and Coke Zero can a little ironic. This refuse is maddening as the "no food in your rooms" policy has been disregarded once again. I am thinking of buying this child an enormous trash bin for her birthday (and nothing else).

Other things I know (cognitively) are sheer textbook teen issues- such as my son's utmost embarrassment at everything I say and do. My feelings still get hurt when he asks me to drop him off at the bus before the field trip and not speak to anyone. I wish I didn't care, but I do. I am asking God for thicker skin. I need to be more like a cactus and less like an orchid. I hear that most likely we will get along well when he is twenty-five.





Somethings I know are just hard parts of the parenting job. Such as sticking to our guns (now on week three) of revoking phone privileges for a daughter who repeatedly chooses not to turn in assignments. Until she comes to terms with the black-hole sucking power of a zero and pulls her grades up, we will endure the mopey "I'm rotting" attitude that goes with banishment from social media and a rest stop on the electronic highway. Sleepover with your best friend? No. The answer to anything you want is "no" kiddo until you get this together. Mama ain't playin'!

Fitness battles when bright academic kids sit at a computer or play instruments most of the hours of their days. The cute (matching mine) fitness planner from Michaels mostly empty of food log entires. The treadmill still. The dog unwalked. Sigh. I can model. I can support. I can enforce. But the battle will be ultimately up to them. I hope they choose well.

When I start falling into the "not enough" parenting hole, all areas of my life start to be viewed through this filter. My friends spend enormous amounts of time on their wardrobes and pouring over blogs to have heir nests feathered in the latest Pinterest/HGTV fashion. I don't have time or energy to keep up or invest in such things. I love creativity. I love beauty, but I don't have enough margin for those pursuits right now. I don't want to feel frumpy, but I don't want to spend money on fashion that changes every season either. I get cheap thrills from consignment bargains. My beautiful home starts to look dusty and cluttered compared to the newly painted (and empty) home that my friend just bought. I know that I need to weed out our closets and deep clean the molding, but when would I do that? I'm even feeling edgy about Christmas which is still six weeks away!






Pfft!!! Pffft!

Extinguishing fiery arrows.

"Take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the devil."

Ephesians 6:16



I take a deep breath and start to pray. Praying not so much in words as just coming and sitting before the Lord (while driving in silence on the way to pick someone up from some activity). Clearer thoughts begin to formulate:


I know that You love me and the life You have given me is a good one, even a privileged and charmed one as compared to so many who truly have struggles much greater than mine. I have years of lists of things I am thankful for and may need to pull them back out and review on the days when I just need to vent and reset. I let the tears trickle down my face and allow my messy child to hand me a paper-towel to wipe them away. I receive the goofiness of my husband as his version of "I'm (sort of) sorry I was a jerk" apology. I exchange my overly-sensitive hurt feelings for a truth walk: we are all works in progress and God will fix this is heaven. The days of perfection are coming. They are just not here yet.



"I used to dream about escaping my ordinary life, but my life was never ordinary. I had simply failed to notice how extraordinary it was."

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children - Ransom Riggs

Asking God this month for eyes to see and ears to hear His goodness.