Servants, not stars

 

"There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it." - Edith Warton

I want to be a star.

I am called to be a servant.

I wish I didn't struggle with this.

I know that it's only pride that makes me wish for a big job. My sense of self is a little too inflated. Ego-strength can be a curse, desiring to do something big, something recognizable.

But right now, in this season of life, I recognize that I am called to humble jobs, and pray daily for the grace to do them well, without a heart of discontentment. I drive the kids to school and pick them up. I throw in a load of laundry, and wipe down the crumbs off the counter. I teach an exercise class. I pick up four gallons of milk. I lead a devotion in the car on the way to school, or teach a VBS or SS class to fourth grade boys and hope that someone learned something. I can't tell. I'll need to wait twenty years to see if any of my lessons stuck and my children have the tools they need to become responsible adults. I understand that small things need to be done in order to keep this whole operation that we call family moving along smoothly, but sometimes I wish for a more impressive task. Something I can see and measure.

Today, I pray for the grace to keep doing small things well in the land of obscurity. I pray to hone my greatest gift, which is my intimacy with You, God. I pray for contentment in small jobs, and pray for your eyes to see the tasks that you've assigned as being important to You. I pray that You would grow me to the place where I quit thinking about myself and am lost completely in You. Thanks for your patience with me as I learn.

Taryn

"The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love."- William Wordsworth, poet (1770-1850)